I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
