you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You pole danced in your parka.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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