whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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