i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
