I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
