i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
