Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
