were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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