Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
