The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
