yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
