Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
