You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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