I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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