VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
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