We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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