I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
