If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
