you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
