I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
