Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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