remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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