You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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