i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
