You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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