guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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