hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
