He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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