There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
