I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
