It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
