you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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