Jerry, you need to find god
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
