ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize