Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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