I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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