just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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