Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
