I seem to have left my pride at pride
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
