i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
