Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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