I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
