$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
