I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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