I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have fence marks all over my body
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