I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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