My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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