Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
