Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
