a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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