remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
