it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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