chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
