The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
