I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
